Buhtt sex?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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