I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
