Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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