there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Reggie can tackle my bush.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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