Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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