I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
