I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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