my phone needs a breathalizer
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
