I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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