I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Come on in and take your pants off
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