I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
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Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
And then he peed in my hair
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