My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
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The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
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Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize