No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
