If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
