i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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