So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
