im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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