made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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