New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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