I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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