Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
