Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
