It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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