Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
