please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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