I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
