The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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