weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
