before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
