Me. At least after what I've been through.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
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so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
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OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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