I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
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In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
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She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home