So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
