Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
