If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
