I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
