Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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