Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i love accidental penises.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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