if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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