Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
