I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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