Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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