I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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