Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I AM VODKA MAN
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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