just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
false alarm, still single
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