nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
