I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize