oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
