insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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