I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
