Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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