No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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