I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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