That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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