just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize