So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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