1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
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