I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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