Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
