dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
