I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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