You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
