This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
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So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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