how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
