so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
