I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
