I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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