we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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