I forgot how hot balto sounded
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize