Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
